What do you do when the forces of evil threaten your home, peace of mind and ability to act or think of a clear path out? When the confusion factor is outside the box of reasonable reality and you have no idea where to begin, what to do or how you’re going to proceed if, by some miracle, you could figure out a course of action?
You fight. You dig in and you fight with everything you have…everything you can muster, anything and everything you can bring to the battle. All that is against you becomes a battleground; the bills, the cost of groceries, pet food, flea medicine, car payments, rent, taxes, your plans for the future that are at a standstill, your health, all of it.
It’s a real battle you’re facing; I’m facing. I call it ‘ The Battle of Serenity Valley’. My serenity, my peace of mind, the happiness and harmony of my home, finances and the health of my husband and myself. It’s a nightmare we have to face down, outlast, out think, outsmart, outmaneuver, and somehow, after the dust has settled, stand in our faith and regain our rightful place in this world as heirs to the mansion of rooms God has set aside for us. It’s a battle Jesus won two thousand years ago and one that the apostle Peter got so fed up and tired of fighting he angrily took the ear of the Roman soldier in the Garden the night they arrested Jesus. Even Peter had his limits and I have mine too. But we struggle back onto our feet, a bit ashamed at our overreaction, but gather ourselves together to stand up once again in faith, knowing we’ll have to counter another attack from a different quarter as soon as the devil can come up with one.
See, here’s the thing. I’m an exorcist and deliverance minister. Yes, really. It’s what I do. It’s a calling I didn’t ask for and much of the time would actually like to run from, but I can’t unless I want to fail God and the people he wants me to help and protect. So I have to fight all the time to keep going. Illness, finances, attacks that come at us out of the blue, whatever the devil feels like throwing at me. And it’s constant…it ebbs and flows in it’s intensity, but it’s still constant, no matter how we fight back and refuse to yield.
How did it began this time? Simple answer? I wanted to open an office where I could see people on a neutral ground before going to their house to check out the situation they need my help to resolve. Nothing grandiose, just a little office I honestly need to be able do my work safely. I can’t have the people come to my home, because sometimes they have ‘the preternatural’ hanging off them or worst case, it’s in them, and the evil will infest my home, just as it’s infested theirs if I bring them through the door. I can’t talk to them in their home, because if we are dealing with something truly demonic, it will overhear everything and between our talk and my exorcism of the home, all hell can break loose and people can be injured mentally or physically. We can’t meet in a restaurant, for the simple reason that no innocent person wants to encounter flying dishes and silverware just because they wanted a meal out…that’s not fair, is it? And you would think we could meet in a church, but most pastors and priests don’t want anything demonic anywhere near their church or meeting rooms. (Can you blame them? I don’t.) So the attack began over my ordination and a 120sq ft office.
Three weeks ago, before my ordination, my husband and I went out to a cheerful dinner and on our way back to the car, we stopped in front of a building that immediately caught my attention. It was a beautiful old Victorian in a very nice part of town, two blocks from St. Francis Catholic Church. A lovely place with a ‘Office for Rent’ sign in the upstairs bay window. Immediately I felt God’s touch on my consciousness, so I paid attention. I had been quite ill for several years and unable to work, but, thanks to Him, am now much healthier and feel strong enough to go back to work, finally. Seeing the office for rent sign immediately cued me in that God also wanted me to return to work and was showing me the perfect place to do it. (I found out later that the building is owned by a minister in MN, and of the two people who rent offices there now, one is a Dominican Nun who has a ministry there. As I said, the perfect place for me to work.)
I’m a deliverance counselor, a recently ordained Pastor and by way of my calling, an exorcist. It’s all I do. I don’t have a Church of my own, I don’t preach, marry or bury people, give communion or baptize as a rule, although I could, but I stick to my calling, as that seems to be where God really wants me to be most of the time. I can give emergency communion or baptize people if I think they are in danger before or during the exorcism and their own minister, pastor or priest is not available. But I prefer to work with their church during the exorcism process, so it’s not often I’m called upon to administer sacraments. I work with people of all religions, or no religion. It doesn’t really matter to me whether they’re Catholic, Protestant, Non-denominational Christian, Hindu, Buddhist, Wiccan, agnostic or atheist. I’ve worked with people from every aspect of faith or non faith…except Satanists. God steers me away from those people or situations that would be a trap for me, so I never know who He will have me walk away from, but there haven’t been very many over the years. I’m here to help people (their homes or property) become free from bondage, infestation or obsession, in whatever spiritual way evil has encroached upon their lives. I don’t do personal exorcisms alone, but do assist in such with my clients church pastors or priests leading the way or assisting. I also do consultations for other exorcists who need a trained mind to take a look at a situation for them and write a report. This is most often done for the Catholic Church, but I have done it for Protestant ministers as well.
I work for God. Period. I’m a servant, nothing more. I don’t do anything unless I feel the Holy Spirit guiding me to act. I’m a natural seer, one in a very long line of natural seers in my family on my mother’s side. In one way or the other, we’ve all been closely associated with the Christian church for centuries. I’m sure if I could trace our family line back far enough, I’d find that there were family members in the Crusades, fed to the lions in Rome, and before that, perhaps working in Greece, Antioch or even Jerusalem. I don’t know for sure, but I have this ‘feeling’ that our line goes back a very, very long time. All I know is that my first living memory is of God, and my second was of the devil. The essence of ‘God’ appeared in my parents bedroom as a beam of light when I was two years old, and I knew him immediately.
I saw the devil or some sort of demon in the dark of our pitch black (no windows) ‘coal room’ where we stored briquets we burned in the furnace, when I was also around two, although I’m not sure how old I was exactly, I just remember seeing it and knowing it meant me no good. Perhaps I crawled in there myself, not realizing where I was going. The demon walked up to me and before it could get too close, I was rescued and taken out of the room into the light. But I never forgot it was there, waiting for me to make a mistake so it could harm me. Our house was definitely haunted, make no mistake, and I fought it all through my life until God helped me finally be victorious when I was 28 armed with knowledge he had given me.
I loved God from the first minute I ‘saw’ his essence. I devoted my life to him, even when I was being a normal child, playing, acting silly, etc., I never forgot God. I don’t remember ever being a ‘bad’ child, mischievous, perhaps, but never mean or cruel as a rule. I thought about God constantly and prayed as fervently as I could, even as a small child. I once memorized a 22 verse, 4 stanza poem called “If Jesus came to my house”, from a little book of the same title, when I was five years old. My mother promised me five dollars if I could memorize it and I did. I don’t remember what I did with the five dollars. It would be wonderful to say I gave it to the church, but I think I bought candy instead. Anyway, I loved that poem and still remember several verses of it, years later. I still smile when I remember how amazed and proud my mother was as I recited it to the Lutheran Ladies Aid Society. It’s funny, isn’t it, how little things like that can define a child? All I knew was that I was doing something good and I loved God so that made it even better.
So I guess I’m still doing that, loving God, trying to do good. It’s the only thing that gives my life meaning. Serving him is, to me, the greatest gift. It means he trusts me to do the work and I have no intention of letting him down. Right now I don’t know how to combat all the evil thrown at me except to pray without ceasing and write about it and ask for your prayers as well. Perhaps you can come against the evil on my behalf, unite your prayers with mine. “If two or more ask for anything in my name, I will be in the midst of them,” said Jesus.
For now, I will leave this here…in prayer. God will be victorious. I have no idea how he will win this battle, but then, I never know how, exactly, he will win any of the battles I go into, except I know his victory will be more glorious than anything I can personally fathom or dream of, as each time he goes into battle, I am awed by his power and stunned by his wisdom. And so it will be now. My body needs rest and my mind needs sleep. I had no idea what I would write under this title, as I literally wrote the title of this post weeks ago, before I even saw the office for rent sign. But it seems fit that this was the upcoming battle all along and God knew I would write tonight and need a great title.
I’m not Malcom Reynolds, sailing the Firefly ‘Serenity’ through the universe, but it occurs to me that his conversation with River Tam at the end of the movie, “Serenity” is more than appropriate for an ending here. They’re piloting the spaceship through a dramatic ion storm and Serenity is getting tossed to and fro. River says to Malcom, “The storm’s getting worse.” and Malcom responds, “We’ll pass through it soon enough.”
God speaks through everyone and everything, you just need to listen.